Universe as Teacher.
Cincinnati, Ohio.
May 16th, 2025.
I was looking for a place where I might possibly open a space to work and display my art. As I turned the corner onto Walnut, the view towards town opened and without a thought my phone went up and I took the photo above. That moment of tone deafness and disrespect nearly cost me my life. The details don’t matter. I caused what happened. I spent the rest of the day reflecting on what I was supposed to learn from that. It was a lesson I desperately needed to learn. Later that evening, still shaking and still contemplating, I was standing shirtless, barefoot on my balcony at the previous apartment. I turned on my bluetooth speaker and out came the video below.
11th Floor Balcony. One Lytle Place.
May 16th, 2025
In the weeks that followed, I published two books. One of those was an autobiography which I thought was a telling of my life to that point. What I had made it through. The “loss” I thought I had so thoroughly and proudly endured. Oh, the ego. But it wasn’t about the past. No. It was an omen. One I ignored. The universe looked at all the pieces I placed in this game of life, had a big belly laugh, then like a sore losing chess player, with one swoop of the arm, wiped the board clean, scattering the pieces across the floor, all while looking me straight in the eyes with a curious expression of, “now what, JP?!”
Marriage, Career, House, Car, Savings. Mental health. Poof! Followed immediately and mercilessly by rent, legal, medical, college tuition, and tax bills. Into the hole I went. I stumbled badly through the summer. In late September, I finally fell. I tried to signal for help but it’s not something I’ve ever had to do. Like many, it came out as fear and anger and was met with the type of response one should expect when things are expressed that way. You get what you give. I accept that. Things around continued to fall. Life doesn’t stop. It walks right past and treats you like a ghost. Wu Wei. Dharma Wheel. Whether I am here or not, it goes, turns. I had one choice. We all do, delivered in one of the most famous lines in film. “Get busy living, or get busy dying.”
What did I learn? I needed many teachers. Still do. Daily. I’ve listed them in a previous post. Go find it. Each one had a lesson plan for me. Most importantly, was that I needed to be the one to save myself. There are no external saviors coming. Everything needed to make it in this world is within me alone, and the choices I make each day. Nobody is responsible for me. Likewise the same is true for others who may walk beside me on my journey. I walk with love, peace, and kindness. I am responsible for no one. I am not here to solve others problems or carry their burdens. I set those down.
It makes me happy to encounter others on my journey, but I am equally as happy walking alone. That is how I live my life and I’ve documented it almost everyday here for the last year. Read it if you like. Or not. I’m not rebuilding my previous life. That’s gone. What you see is transmutation and transformation. Something completely different.
The caterpillar must dissolve, then only, Sui Generis!!
“I am not what has happened to me. I decide what I become.”
– Carl Gustav Jung
