The Career an Empath Should Never Take.

I started my entry into Corporate America not actually in America. It was May, 1997. I was preparing for a Masters Degree in South Asian cultural studies but was also getting married, in India.

I’ve written extensively about this, the summary is my life as an artist and person doing cultural studies was over. I spent 18 months in India taking every computer programming course imaginable and studying multiple software application development platforms.

My first actual position came in 1998. I joined a firm near Kings Island building internal software programs. They sold subprime loans to financially disadvantaged people. I sat on the opposite wall hearing threats of repossession . It was making me ill. I quit.

Cap Gemini (name changed to Sogeti) saved me. My goodness, it was a great company to work for. They saw me. They saw my work ethic and they supported me. When times got tough during the dotcom bubble, it was a struggle for them and for us as employees. I felt protected. I could have ridden the storm I believe. They were good. But I was on the bench and I was a cost. I did not want to force them to let me go so I decided to find something and move on. Maybe that saved someone else and they got to stay a little longer. Bravo, Cap Gemini/Sogeti. Always an honor to be an alumnus.

After that it was 8 years of programming for a Cincinnati chemical company, Cognis, owned by venture capital. Out of the frying pan into the fryer. Each year the question was, is this the year we get sold, and will I have a job? That changes you. What happened during that job? The 2008 housing crisis. My 401k lost 50% and took five years to reach its high water mark again.

We were eventually bought by BASF, who grandfathered us into their retirement and offered a position with relocation or severance. I took the severance and small pension, and went to a new job. BASF, a German company was very kind to me. Cognis was kind and had moved me to a technology platform that secured me for the rest of my career. I thank them all. But living under the threat of job loss for 8 years took a major toll.

After that it was off to Luxottica. Cognis on Friday. luxottica Monday. No break. Luxottica was also good to me, especially my two bosses. The VP kept in touch through LinkedIn and always maintained support. They knew my ethic and skills and they provided a challenging but supportive environment. I was not looking to leave.

In 2012, I got a call from an SAP consultant I knew asking if I would meet a man who owned a Cincinnati based software company, CNBS Software. I agreed and it was the best life decision. Why? Because I found a place where they saw me for who I was and let me go to work. And go I did. To the top within almost 6 months.

I was flying on Corporate jets to New York to meet with IT Executives at a $65 billion elevator company. The head of IT there called me on my cell a year after I left the company. I remember the software and told them how to do what the wanted but also who to contact next time. They were on a conference call and amazed I took the call. It is who I am. They were great to work with.

I was flying high. “Mr. CNBS”, “just bring the deal to the table and I will win it.” And I did. When the end came, I was competing for a huge Japanese deal against SAP and Salesforce, with a laptop, at my dining table. Not a 64 story tower in San Francisco. And I was winning.

The responsibilities like this kept mounting. I eventually collapsed because it was and is not really me. I knew something was wrong. My emotions were erratic. I told them. I didn’t know why. They tried to help me but in the end, it was best for all that I stopped. I played the game for as long as my mind and body would let me and it said enough. I was carried from my home on a stretcher. That was the beginning of the end. I’ve taken my chips and left.

I am retired. Back to a life of art and Truth, which I love. I am a peaceful person and will only act if I am pushed. But my actions are always be peaceful and with words and picture. It’s how I communicate. There is never an excuse for violence regardless of the unethical behavior. Never. Full Stop People! No Violence!!! I’m with John Lennon. “If you talk about destruction, don’t you know that you can count me OUT.”

I did well in a corporate career. But that is also not me. I never fit in at corporate events or company parties. As soon as the Karaoke machine made its ugly entrance I was already half way to the exit. Truth be told, I liked the conferences and happy hours. I built a standard suburban home. Bought a few nice cars (mostly used). I don’t own a car now. It’s in better hands. I never felt comfortable with my compensation. I did not feel what I did was as valuable to society as teachers, nurses, mental health, firemen, people who are truly interacting for the good everyday. Saving lives. Not helping sell widgets.